A trip down Memory Lane, and being hit-and-run by a drunk driver at the corner
When I was but a lad of 16 years, there was a plucky young television network called The WB. And it had a singular, noble vision: to provide overwrought, teen-driven, primetime melodrama to the great oxy-scrubbed masses of middle-class suburbia. Now me and my friends...we were pretty "hard" as they say. (A friend of mine once killed a hobo for heroin money--true story--in between student council and school newspaper meetings--we were rebels). But we fell in love with a particular show on the WB Tuesday nights back in those turbulent '90s: Dawson's Creek. "The Creek," as we called it, was not about that simpering fool Dawson, but about the adventures in growing-up of one Miss Joey Potter, played superbly without affectation and yet with a certain je ne sais quoi by Katie Holmes.
She was my muse.
But now, Katie! oh Katie! my soul cries for you! Because she has been recently engaged to psycho cult-member, midget, and shitty actor Tom Cruise. I don't like Tom Cruise, never really have. I mean name one good movie he's starred in? (And Top Gun doesn't count because we all know that movie was Goose and Iceman all the way). Yeah, can't think of one can you? Seriously, Interview With a Vampire? How do you go too far as a gay vampire? Well Tom Cruise found a way. And the Scientology stuff, I don't know if you've ever read about any of that, but the less said the better...there's just no way to get around the craziness there. And everybody totally knows that he went trolling for the image boost ("I am not a cult-obsessed closetcase who can't carry a picture!") all over town approching Scarlett Johansen, Jessica Alba, and others who turned him down.
Ah well: time, she flies. You can't stay at "The Creek" forever, that was one of the important lessons Joey Potter taught us when she went off to the Ivy League to make her own life. I have learned much the same thing again today...never forget that you can always leave to make a better life Katie, remember that when you are sleeping in seperate beds and appearing in public together only around release dates per contractual obligation.
She was my muse.
But now, Katie! oh Katie! my soul cries for you! Because she has been recently engaged to psycho cult-member, midget, and shitty actor Tom Cruise. I don't like Tom Cruise, never really have. I mean name one good movie he's starred in? (And Top Gun doesn't count because we all know that movie was Goose and Iceman all the way). Yeah, can't think of one can you? Seriously, Interview With a Vampire? How do you go too far as a gay vampire? Well Tom Cruise found a way. And the Scientology stuff, I don't know if you've ever read about any of that, but the less said the better...there's just no way to get around the craziness there. And everybody totally knows that he went trolling for the image boost ("I am not a cult-obsessed closetcase who can't carry a picture!") all over town approching Scarlett Johansen, Jessica Alba, and others who turned him down.
Ah well: time, she flies. You can't stay at "The Creek" forever, that was one of the important lessons Joey Potter taught us when she went off to the Ivy League to make her own life. I have learned much the same thing again today...never forget that you can always leave to make a better life Katie, remember that when you are sleeping in seperate beds and appearing in public together only around release dates per contractual obligation.
posted by justin | 6:22 PM
2 Comments:
Risky Business like it or not it is a good movie. Who didn’t want to run a whore house out of their parents place in high school? Also, Days of Thunder. If you do not like NASCAR then I pity you my friend. Okay I admit Days of Thunder sucked, but it’s all I have got if you are going to minimize Maverick in Top Gun. Cocktail wasn’t too bad. Rain Man. He was good in Rain Man, and also Magnolia. I will not fight with you about Interview with a Vampire. I like chocolate you like vanilla. Fine. Though I think if you take a close look at being a vampire, there is something a little gay about it. I digress. I am not going to take his side and say that he is not a crazy cult member or that he is not short because I think that we can all agree that he is, but bad actor? Shenanigans. Shenanigans. Shenanigans
I don't doubt the latent homoeroticism in vmapires, my quarrel is that Tom Cruise found a way to be to hammy for a flamboyant chracter...and I will give you risky business, but his recent ouvre sucks...he's always been saved by better actors be they Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man or Jamie Fox in Collateral. Plus, he's just plain creepy.
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