It's like wiping your ass with silk.

I am a particular fan of swearing. I am an unrepetent booster for cursing (and America! but mostly cursing). Following from this fact, I hold no truck with that old saw (and those that say it) that cursing is the sign of an ignorant mind and limited vocabularly, that you should be able to come up with something else rather that a dirty word. That is a certain kind of bullshit. Working blue is just using the whole vocabulary to make a fucking point or express a colorful sentiment. The acrobatic use of cussing is admirable and enjoyable.

Also, like in Falling Down, I just don't trust anyone who doesn't curse.

So I want to share with you my two favorite recent uses of potty-mouth. They're both excellent dialogue bits from HBO shows that I've had occassion to see in the last little bit of time.

From "Deadwood":

[The town's newspaper office has been busted up.]

Al: Why ain't you up and running again?

Merrick: I'm in despair. The physical damage is repairable, but the psychic wound may be permanent.

Al: You ever been beaten, Merrick?

Merrick: Once, when I thought I had the smallpox, Doc Cochrane slapped me in the face...

Al: [Slaps Merrick in the face.]

Merrick: Stop it, Al!

Al: Are you dead?

Merrick: Well, I'm in pain, but no, I'm obviously not dead.

Al: And obviously you didn't fuckin' die when the doc slapped you.

Merrick: No.

Al: So including last night that's three fuckin' damage incidents that didn't kill you. Pain and damage don't end the world, or despair, or fuckin' beatin's. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, but give some back.

And then, from "Entourage":

[Hollywood agent, Ari Gold is at couples therapy with his wife when his phone goes off].

Ari's Wife: [to therapist while Ari's phone rings] I ask for one hour out of the day. For his undivided attention. And I can't even have that!

Ari: You can have it if you want to live in Agora-fucking-Hills, and go to group therapy. But if you want a Beverley Hills mansion, and you want a country club membership, and you want nine weeks a year at a Tuscan villa, then I'm going to have a take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking WEDNESDAY!

Ari's Wife: See? That's what I mean.

Ari: I...Y'know what? I have to take this. [Leave's therapist's office] There better be a scud missle headed toward's Beverley Hills, Eric.

Eric: No there's a fucking iceberg, Ari, James Cameron is directing Aquaman.

Ari: Fuck You! Where'd you hear that? Friendster?

Eric: No, I heard it from Josh Weinstein you jerk-off. Now get your hand off your dick and go call somebody.

Ari: [Exiting building and talking rapidly to his assistant on his cell] I don't care if he's in the fucking Arctic Shelf, get James Cameron on the phone, get Dana Gordon on the phone, and tell her assistant that if she does not call me back, I will fuck her worse than I did in Cabo in 1992! I'm gonna be there in 90 seconds find out who covers Warners. If all this is not taken care of I will choke you out with a strap-on!

Fuckin'-A, man.