House Cleaning My Head

• Something about Zach Braff makes me want to hit him in the mouth. I could get behind Garden State initially, but then I realized the melancholy whinging was just how Braff rolls all the time. And that makes him a whiny emo wuss, and so we are sworn enemies.
• Also, I like Aesop Rock.
• If Fred Thompson becomes president, I'm out. Seriously. That's a deal breaker.
• Oprah might have got to me. Seriously, I was in the Tattered Cover today, and her book club selections have been pretty excellent overall. Faulkner, Tolstoy. If she were to get a bunch housewives to read Madame Bovary, then I'd finally go over to the dark side.
• I have a globe.
• I want a piece of Rumsfeld now that he's not a cabinet secretary. You an' me Don, you an' me. No rules, only winners. I know you wrestled in college, Rummy, but it was at Princeton, so I'm pretty sure I can still take you. (That's right, Tigers, I'm callin' you out.) Wolverines!
• People who like both Zach Braff and Donald Rumsfeld...these are the ones to watch, they will betray you for they have a heart made of shit and splinters.
• I am your rightful king and sovereign.
• Seacrest out.