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Monday, June 04, 2007

Parthenogenesis Strikes!

I'm a little late to this, but the undersea menace has gotten real, people. The advent of an army of tiny killing machines in the form of shark messiahs has become fact.
"Yes, indeed this is a virgin birth," Shivji said in an interview, adding that
this could help explain why other sharks have suddenly been born in captivity,
like a bamboo shark that appeared in Detroit's Belle Isle Aquarium in
2002.
"We have now demonstrated that sharks are actually able to use an
alternative, previously unknown reproductive pathway, which is parthenogenesis.
The problem here is that this alternative reproductive pathway results in
offspring that have much lower genetic diversity," he said

This cartilangenous Jesus-fish is a herald of the coming Sharkocalypse. Now, even in isolation a determined matri-shark may brood an entire army of swimming teeth like so many grey-eyed Athenas with glinting spears from the hammer-head of a Jawsian Jupiter. Will this new threat from our as yet unconquered oceans be an isolated affront to human-kind's rightful sovereignty over the whole of the globe, or will the sharks wait and join with their fellows of the perfidious depths, the dolphins and the squid? Time will tell, time will tell. I propose a surface world alliance. Send our armored bathyspheres and deep-submergence Marines in a pre-emptive strike on the enemy in their abyssal layers.

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