The Philosophical Underpinings of The United States

So by now you all know about the--um--secret illegal spying on American citizens that the President authorized two years ago in contravention of federal law and the 4th Amendment. So in response to that piece of horrifying news (I now end all my phone conversations with "Vigilance for Our Leader!" just in case) I want to bring up something that I find puzzling. There is this odd sense that the philosophy that guided our nation's founders was about Americans joining together to wave the flag and stand in the face of adversity while we sing songs and breathe in the fresh air of freedom. Well, that's a bunch of sappy bullshit. The Star-Spangled Banner is for pussies, and all this "My country right or wrong," crap should get you kicked out on your "patriotic" ass. Because, see the philosophy that was lodestar to the Framers was one of misanthropy, mistrust, and general leave-me-the-hell-alone-ness. People think that patriotism is all about throaty yelps of support for the country. But the Framers were so mistrustful of any power in anybody's hands that they constructed elaborate systems of checks and balances, grand juries, and warrants in order to even bring the town drunk in for fightin' on a Sunday. The whole point of the country was that they had all played by the rules and were still getting screwed with their pants on by the Crown, so they went ahead and said "Fuck this," and wrote better rules.
People seem to confuse the Revolution and the War. See, the war was the means to the revolution. The bright lights and shiny muskets and pretty colors and loud noises that everybody takes as the cue for patriotic behavior was just the goddam wrapping you dolts! The revolution is in the ideas. The idea is that it doesn't matter who the President is, he doesn't get to do shit like this because he's human, and humans are filthy liars and power grubbing little turds...every last one of them. Your gramma? Filthy liar. Your pastor? Power grubbing little turd. So the power is distrubuted parsimoniously with no single institution having enough to screw with the rest of us. And I don't mean, "Damn, environmentalists won't let us log here," screwing--that's just public policy; I mean, "I was arrested two years ago and still haven't been told the charges or allowed to see a lawyer," kinds of screwing. But when everybody gives and says it's okay because this is a "different kind of war" or whatever; and we don't make man-size sacrifices like maybe laying off the mother fucking Hummer purchases, but instead sacrifice liberties like tiny scared babies away from our mother's teat for the first time and say, "Oh, Mr. President please save us"...well that's a bunch of pussy talk and you're just lucky that George Washington doesn't crawl out of the grave and slap some man into you. American patriotism isn't waiving the flag like a drooling simp, it's reading some books and thinking that you might have an even better way to address new challenges without violating our most sacred values. And when the President spies on American citizens and he doesn't think he needs a warrant since he's the bestest little boy, his mommy told him so, well you put on your man boots and boot him and his enablers in the Congress out on their dumb asses.