Fictional Characters Who Would Be Dead Now If They Had Been Real.

The very first FCWWBDNITHBR (a.k.a Feckwebednithber) is Bartleby, the Scrivener.

Bartleby is the eponymous chracter in the Herman Melville short story. "Scrivener," was the occupational name for the men that used to copy out legal documents before the advent of carbon paper or Xerox. (For example, if you had just licensed the sale of $100,000 worth of goods on your behalf by a second party, you would want both that second party and yourself to have accurate copies of the licensing contract.) Bartleby works in a Wall Street law firm--a fate dreadful to behold, and one which I have studiously avoided. And he would prefer not. Or rather, his anser to everything is that he "would prefer not." He shuts down a Wall Street house with those simple words, he cries the cry of the oppressed and the put upon office worker with his comically simple and comically reasonable statement. There's more to be said. That's why I provided the link above. It's a short story. Literally. So read it.