Fafblog!

Fafblog interviews The Constitution...and the situation seems dire:

CONSTITUTION: A right to privacy? My goodness gracious, Fafnir! The Founding Fathers didn't want Americans to have a right to privacy! Privacy was what the British were trying to force down the throats of good patriots!
FAFBLOG: I can't believe I had it wrong all this time! What about all that stuff about search an seizure an troops in your house?
CONSTITUTION: More judicial tyranny! Police searches don't require probable cause, Fafnir - they require the officers present to call "dibs." And not only does the Third Amendment require you to quarter troops in your home, it requires you to serve them punch and cookies. Do you have punch and cookies for your troops, Fafnir?
FAFBLOG: No I don't! Oh no - I am unconstitutional!
CONSTITUTION: It's not your fault, son. You've been deceived and tyrannized by activist judges! Ever since the War of Judicial Aggression, your true Constitution has been oppressed and dishonored, abused for foul purposes like the gay agenda, the New Deal, and the civil rights movement!

It's a dark day indeed here in 'Murika. Go read the whole thing to expose the horrible truth about Constitutional issues an' stuff. I'm glad I read it because graduate level instruction at a top university did not prepare me for the awful truth.