Nick Cage: bad actor, cruel father

Alright, lets make a new rule. If you are an actor of any celebrity, you must submit your baby for naming to a council of middle-aged people in the Milwaukee suburbs so we can get a few Johns, Franks, Marys and Elizabeths in there. In fact new rule: not the name of monarch of a Western European country in the last 5 centuries, then its not the name of your baby. Why the bitching?

From the AP:

LOS ANGELES -
Nicolas Cage is a new father. His wife, Alice Kim Cage, gave birth Monday to a boy, Kal-el Coppola Cage, in New York City, said Cage's Los Angeles-based publicist, Annett Wolf. No other details were available.

Nick Cage just named his new born son Kal-El. As in Kal-El, son of Jor-El and Lara--also known as Superman. Kal-El is Superman's Kryptonian birth name. That is so not in play for baby naming, it's just not in set of options. Seriously, you can't name your kid after a comic book super hero. It's one of those rules that we don't write down--even though we know its there in the back of our minds--because we don't think that anyone is 'tarded enough to go ahead and break it. Cal--short for Calvin? Fine, hell, we had a president named Cal. But once you ad that "El" you've crossed a line, man.
And lets not forget that the story is Nicolas Cage named himself that because he wanted to hide his connection to the Coppola family (which is his real last name) to avoid nepotism. So he took the name "Cage" because coppola is Italian for cage. So calling the kid Kal-El [shudder] Coppola Cage is essentially naming your child "Superman Cage Cage". And that, my friends, is statutory child abuse in the state of California. Hopefully the charges will prevent him making another Jerry Bruckheimer movie. The bastard.