Codex Ivstianvs

Why, hello. Fancy seeing you here.

Emperor tropique du cancer toucan beak

Monday, February 20, 2006

In front of a wall of graffiti

Some Guy: You leavin' town?
Me: Yep.
Some Guy: By choice this time?
Me: Not really.
SG: Nothin' ever really is. Where you headed?
Me: That way [points].
SG: That a good direction. I done that a lot. It's one of my favorites. Y'know what else is good? That way [points other direction].
Me: Maybe next time.
SG: Think there's goin' t'be a next time?
Me: For you?...Maybe.
[Bus pulls up]
SG: So...you ever comin' back?
Me: I did come back.
[Bus pulls away, in the other direction]


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President's Day

This President's Day, let us enjoy a spot of the rudeness from that most enlightened and eloquent of men: The Rude Pundit.

And let's all remember a spot of George "The Killa from Virginia" Washington.
In 1783, at the end of the Revolution, Washington voluntarily resigned as Commander in Chief. This astounded the world. Most people assumed that Washington, the most powerful man in the newly-formed United States, would move quickly to make himself its ruler. George III, King of England, is said to have reacted by exclaiming that Washington was 'the greatest man alive.'
...
The first Congress convened in New York City on March 4, 1789. After a month's delay awaiting a quorum, the sealed ballots were opened and officially counted on April 6, 1789. George Washington was the first choice for President of every elector in every state. He is the only person to be unanimously elected president. The Secretary to Congress, Charles Thomson, left for Mount Vernon where, on April 14, 1789, he notified George Washington of his election. The question of whether Washington would serve was answered when he said, 'I cannot give a greater evidence of my sensibility for the honor my fellow citizens have done me, than by accepting the appointment.' Washington, now President-elect, left for New York by horse-drawn coach on Thursday, April 16. In his diary that day, he did not write about winning the election. Instead he wrote about his worries about doing the job well. He also wrote about his belief that he should serve 'my country in obedience to its call.

Hells yeah.


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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Shhh. Be cool.

Everybody just chill out and watch the butterflies.




That's nice. I feel nice.


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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I'm so sorry, but I have to say it...

Cleary, the Vice President was not trying to hunt quail, but rather The Most Dangerous Game of all. His black heart is no longer satisfied with killing animals, the thrill--so to speak, for what thrill could animate his lifeless inards?--is gone. So instead he dupes prominent men to back woods ranches in South Texas to fulfill his blood lust in the only way left to him.


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There may yet be a dawn at the end of the long night

Oh sweet merciful gods of the heavens and of the earth, and even those dark spirits below (for surely you have had a hand in this)! I thank you, I thank you a thousand times, my munificent lords of the aether. For this is the greatest Valentine's Day gift that has ever been given to the communities of lovers the world over, indeed it is gift to love itself. Now, I don't want to jump the gun, and I'm sure a denial is in the works from Cruise's phalanx of mighty attornies...but this made me cry a little tear of joy.


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Sunday, February 12, 2006

February 12, 1809

Today is a very special day. What makes today different from all other days? No, we don't eat only unleavened bread and dip twice. Rather, today, is the 197th birthday of both Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. That is what you call one of them auspicious days. These two men being my favorite two people ever, I am observing this as a private holliday. Abe and Chuck represent two opposite life trajectories, creating two different people in almost every possible way. Abe, the poor, ill-educated, yet ambitious lawyer-turned-politician was an eloquent and faithful man given to fits of great depression and brilliant passion. Darwin was rich and indolent, well educated at first at Cambridge, then Edinburgh (finally going with divinty by default, after failing medicine and finding law unrewarding), finally going on the Beagle Voyage largely at the urging of friends and family who were tired on him lying around the place, not lacking for patience he wouldn't publish the Origin of Species until he was 50, the Beagle set sail when he was 26. They became symbols for the two things best about our civilization (such as it is): Freedom and Science. The idea that no one may be kept from their rightful human dignity, and that reason when applied to the universe and it's contents yield understandings more profound than any petty mythology. Of course a solid half the nation--doubts the value of both men, if not generally rejects them outright. One hundred and ninety-seven years, and still we're caching up. That's a shame.
And remember, don't fuck with Darwin, he has a posse.


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Thursday, February 09, 2006

People of America...

...I ask you: What the fuck? What the fuck, dude? You didn't fucking know, you couldn't have predicted? Fuck that. Liars.


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Props to the Creek

Something I just noticed ('cause I don't pay attention, 'cause who cares?) is that Michelle Williams is nominated for an Oscar. That's great. Who knew that she'd be the first cast member of my favorite show of all time (Dawson's Creek) to be nominated? Oh, yes, I've always known at least a couple of the kids from Dawson's Creek would get Oscar nominations. I thought it'd be Katie Holmes--but then the "unpleasantness" occured and now she's enslaved to a tiny, scary man. Of course I always liked Joshua Jackson: Pacey was hard, man. So good for you, Michelle Williams, way to represent The Creek. (Even if my buddy Ralph did call you "Pig-faced Bitch," and, as Jen, you deserved it.)


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Saturday, February 04, 2006

Wow.

Dude.
I just saw Prince on SNL.
Dude.
Wow.
Prince rocked, hard. That was amazing.
I have to say, I'm not a Prince fan, but that was kick ass.


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What I had for dinner was dirty

I had peas for dinner tonight. Ah, country peas...full of country goodness and green pea-ness. Wait a minute...awwww, god damn it!


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Literature

I have been thinking about something. And that something is the fact that your "good Christian" will tell you that she reads the Bible for inspiration and guidance. Just turn to a page in the Bible and start reading, eventually you'll get your answer, that's what your "good Christian" wil say. I totally believe that. But not, I think, for the same reasons. See I reckon that you could do the same to the same result in any particularly good book. And The Good Book is very much a good book. Do it with Homer or Shakespeare or Milton, or really any of your better books, whatever one it is you like. See, that's the strength of the Bible: it's a good book and great literature will always have that effect. That's why we read it. Or at least that's why we should read it. Going to a book, not because you like it, but because you think you should is turning reading, and study and reflection into a duty. And when it becomes a duty you start to feel weird about like you have to so everybody has to, and that causes problems. Douchbag problems.


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Thursday, February 02, 2006

From the Deep, They Rise

Crocodiles have begun attacking cars in Australia. Saltwater crocodiles...as we have seen before, the denizens of the abyss have long planned to overthrow our global dominion and reduce us to slaves in their underwater kelp fields, damn their watery hides.


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iDolatry

The iPod gods ("iGods"?) have seen fit to punish me by causing something the guy at the Apple store described as "total hard-drive failure." Though I loved and feared them, the iPod gods saw into my heart and knew that my faith was not adequate to their greater glory. I accept this rebuke and have pledged to renew my efforts. So, the Monks of Mac agreed to sell me a new iPod, a better iPod (at a very reaosnable discount--less than I payed for the first one). Behold! iPod Video, with 30 GB of space! I can watch fucking TV shows on my iPod, it shows the cover of the album the song I'm listening to is from. Oh, iGods, yea and I saw your creation and it was good!


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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Son of a...

I finished all my reading (turns out a bunch of laws are only made up to justify what society is already doing...who knew?), made some tea and a balogna sandwich (which, I pronounce "bloney sammich"), and sat down to leave through a magazine, see what's on TV for a half hour or so, and then early to bed in furthurence of my master plan to get up early tomorrow and have some coffee and croissant at the cafe 'round the corner and enjoy the general fruits of the new morning.
I came across a program on one of the higher-numbered channels that mentions the name Ingrid Bergman. And damned if I don't like me some Ingrid Bergman. So they are talking a little bit about her and her career and I'm wondering what this is. It turns out it's just the little bit before they show "Casablanca."
Son of a bitch!
I can't go to bed early now, I have to watch the movie. You can't not watch Casablanca. It's got easily 7 of the 10 best lines in movie history, and it's just damned compelling cinema.
Damned compelling cinema.


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Supporting Our Troops

This is fucking bullshit. Motherfuckers need to be pistol whipped for this kind of crap.

Last week, Col. Janis Karpinski told a panel of judges at the Commission of Inquiry for Crimes against Humanity Committed by the Bush Administration in New York that several women had died of dehydration because they refused to drink liquids late in the day. They were afraid of being assaulted or even raped by male soldiers if they had to use the women's latrine after dark.


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